Words of Wisdom

Via @jessechamberlin

“i get to watch people fall in love. it still makes me cry. even after documenting 400+ weddings. sometimes, as i get lost in the beautiful faces i photograph, i find myself imagining where their journeys will take them.
life rarely turns out the way we expect it to. that’s really the only guarantee we have. i guess it’s also a part of the magic. things grow, things break, things change, things disappear, all so unexpectedly. then the cycle begins again. all we can do is our best to maintain a sense of grace through it all, holding on to a determination to stay open
going through the divorce process has challenged me in ways i never would have expected. the tough questions that don’t seem to have right answers, the heavy complications of untangling lives, living & sleeping alone, the pressures of making a living alone, single parenthood, flying across country trying to contain two wild boys. hardest of all – having to come to terms with missing out on precious days of their little lives. as a mama human, it seems impossible to me that i should ever have to be away from them for any reason. i hold them for long moments on the days they have to leave.

but along with the many trials have come equally unexpected gifts. with some love & support from my kick-ass friends & family, i find myself stronger & braver than I have ever been. i’m surprising myself.
i’ve gained an incredible respect for those who’ve had to go through this & a patience for those that don’t understand. i Iost a lot of my own judgments along the way & have nothing but compassion left. i didn’t fully understand how complex a divorce can be – it’s hard work to fall apart. i do my best now to give people the benefit of the doubt – that we’re all doing the best we know how.
tonight, i am completely grateful. not so bewildered. with closure in my heart, i’m filled with a quiet optimism for the next chapter. i’m open & ready… ”

 

4 Responses

  • Thank you for sharing this. 11 years ago my first marriage ended in divorce when I was 28. At the time I remember feeling like I was so alone, like no one understood what it was like to go through the process of divorce because no one seemed to be talking about it. Especially people of my generation. And even now, so many years later, I feel like women seem to be much more comfortable talking publicly about so many things but divorce still seems like its taboo in some circles. Maybe it’s because we want to be respectful of our former partner’s feelings, maybe we fear judgment or blame, I don’t know what it is exactly. I do know that my inner circle was tremendous, and I was cared for and supported in ways I never could have imagined or expected as I slowly figured out how to put my life back together. But outside of that, I distinctly remember searching for stories of other people who were like me, other people who had lived and felt what I was experiencing, and not being able to find those stories. And I struggled with having patience with people who didn’t understand.

    I’m sorry for what you’re going through right now. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing this. I wish you strength and clarity and peace.

  • The overall process of divorce is indeed challenging. There are a lot of things to do, and you have to make big decisions under great pressure and stress. But once you accept everything and overcome your fears, things will get better. And it’s good to see that you’re already on the stage where you are opening up to new things. Good day!

    Sammy Jackson @ Ken Phillips

  • I randomly found you on IG one day, the day you posted this blog. It floored me. It was everything I was feeling and experiencing…”the untangling of lives” was one of the most impactful lines to me. I quickly called my friend Jessica and told her about this, how beautifully written and totally encapsulating it was. Such a small world that she already “knew” you. I’m so glad that it was posted here, for other moms to read and hopefully help in any small way to others of us out there.

Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *