Days go by, weeks go by, months go by, years go by. Sometimes it feels like I’m merely floating. Not living, but floating. Life becomes dictated by words written into boxes on a calendar. Spontaneity becomes a luxury, a nice-to-have, when it used to be a need-to-have, oxygen. I long for the unplanned days, when there’s space to be thoughtless and just act.
My husband and I are in the thick of it. One day drifts into the next. I’m not always who I thought I was. It sounds depressing, but it’s not. We remind ourselves: These are the days. Sometimes we feel like we need a snorkel just to get a fresh breath of air and even then it’s tainted with salt water that leaked in, causing us to choke just a little. These are the days. Little old ladies and wrinkly old men tell us to enjoy them–either because they’ve forgotten how hard they are or because they have access to the bigger picture. They have perspective. They have memories of their children growing and changing and life zooming by so fast. They know that we’re not just floating, in this zombie-like state; in reality, we are more alive than ever before.
More from Ashley over at The Stork and the Beanstalk