Intimacy

 

Sometimes I lose my way to you in the day when everything we have created lies between us, the most beautiful obstacles.

I want to be the best version of myself, not be distracted or frustrated but calm and present, grateful and kind. I want to remind you why you love me not because you have forgotten but because I may have. There are moments when things seem to balance so precariously, as though everything could fracture with a roll of the eyes or a slip of the tongue. I’m embarrassed at how meek some of the weight we put on each other seems – imagine hanging your heart on a thoughtless jest – but then I recall how heavy one last straw is to carry. I shudder and cling to you with two hands. Not us, Not us.

What becomes of people that only thrive where it is wild? How do these four walls contain us? A certain fire in my blood and a quiet authority in yours, this must be how we found each other. I remind myself to stay crazy because it has never scared you and this is how we stay together – bring everything you have to me & I will do the same.

During a moment of pain in our relationship you told me that two people who love like we do grow side by side like two trees who’s root systems are completely entwined below the surface – Sturdy – Not for everybody else to see but for us to feel, that you could never separate your life from mine because we had grown together too long. And suddenly I could only love you more.

Sometimes you find your way back to me in a dream. Nothing is recognisable not my face or yours, not the sounds or the surrounds. I know it’s you only for the ease that exists between us. The prickle of your hand on my skin is so familiar, and in this dream-state the sensation lingers a little longer

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